ok, i promise i will work on some 'creative titles' for my blogs... there just are no creative juices flowing these days. not to sound droll, or to nullify the word "joyful" in our main heading... but a word that might sum up the days lately (at least for my pregnant self) is:
DREARINESS (rhymes with weariness... go figure)
1. 36 weeks pregnant tomorrow. feeling huge and awkward. back pain. crampiness. hard to get comfortable at night. RLS. heartburn! strong baby kicks. uncomfortable chairs- ALL chairs now, not just those wonderful theater seats! a minimum of 2x nightly of bathroom trips.
2. "Terrible Two's". Naya loves to scream at the top of her lungs when she's not in a loving mood. when she wakes up in the morning, or from a nap... when she can't have juice between meals... when she can't watch a movie... when she doesn't obey... "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!" The good thing in this area, however, is that we can see that she is indeed learning the difference between obedience and disobedience. she is often able to anticipate the impending time-out or swat before we even approach her. oh- and she's also developed a fantastic little frown/gripe-face!
3. ok, i'm actually DELIGHTED(!!!!) that the weather has cooled down!! yay fall!! but my internal thermometer is still down in the southern states... the classroom temp. is 71 degrees, which for me is shorts and tank top 'weather'.... but i enjoy sticking my head out the hallway window in between classes.
4. doctors. and the michigan dhs. not the peaches and cream of other states. but after waiting with ZERO (ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO) correspondence on THEIR end for 45 DAYS (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), we finally have learned that we are indeed on the state health plan and also the food assistance program. we've been covered since august 14th, the date of our application. but i tell you, what a horribly trying experience it was... i will be writing a letter. in my spare time. HA! ok, so no spare time, but i plan on writing a letter- in which i will of COURSE express my gratitude for the benefits we will now be receiving (indeed, thank you, Lord!! it is a HUGE HUGE HUGE blessing!!), but also to "mention" how long it took and how poor the communication was. simply so they can consider if there are any areas of their services that they'd like to one day improve. as for doctors... that has also been a trying experience here in michigan. finding a doctor/clinic was not an issue at all. (in case any of you plan to move during a pregnancy, it's really not that big a deal to FIND doctors/clinics...) but today was my 3rd appointment, and also the 3rd negative experience at this place. they are disorganized, not up to what i would consider good standards of cleanliness (! eek !), they are STILL trying to sort out my prenatal records from seattle (very very tacky), and the n.p. that i've been seeing the last 2 visits doesn't listen carefully, doesn't ask the right questions, doesn't put together the information i give her, doesn't respect my questions or desires, doesn't follow through. so not only is my health-care thus compromised by her lack of attentiveness to detail, but i don't think i should feel like a 'moron' for the questions i ask. wow, this paragraph is LONG now!! have you gotten the point? so my goal for tomorrow is to find a new clinic/doctor. i'd love prayer for that, if you happen upon this blog. i'm only 4 weeks away, and am really hoping that a dr. will be willing/available to take me on as a patient. a friend here at NTBI is due about the same time i am, and goes to a dr./clinic in lansing that she very much recommends. so that may very well be our first try tomorrow.
basically this blog is a gripe session, isn't it?? by show of hands, who thinks i'm a griper?? actually, i'm probably much more of a gripe than you or i realize. i'd like to think i'm becoming a more Godly, graceful woman. but sometimes i sure feel like i'm walking the opposite direction. that's why we need each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. not to sit by and nod and agree with each other's troubles all the time. although there are times for that- times to sympathize and pat on the back and all that. but the Word of God calls us to rebuke one another with gentleness... not to let sin tarry. to spur one another on toward love and good deeds--- out of discouragement and into heads and hands lifted high in the joy of Christ!
i hope that through all my dreariness the joy of Jesus Christ is still radiating out from me! i can't do that on my own. i can't make myself be joyful despite circumstances. CHRIST does that! i mustn't try to live FOR Him, but to let Him live in and through me. He values me greatly, but His Word ALSO says in galatians 2.20 that "i have been crucified with Christ, and i no longer live, but Christ lives in me. and the life i now live in the flesh, i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
so away with all of the griping above. those are some of the things that i (and consequently we as a family) have been dealing with lately. but in perfect timing, the Lord is working them all out. each and every one of them. may we always press on, no matter what the circumstances are telling us. God IS. circumstances come and go. but God IS.
-Lisa, for the Martinez family